Wednesday, February 20, 2013


The implication of anger and depression is beyond petrifying. No thoughts can be vague enough for you to forget. You become lost in the complexity of your own thoughts. A complexity that goes over and above, into and under, through sanity. Sanity is a distant memory for your world is a new one. One that is misunderstood by your own being. Will it get better? Will it be real again? The search for an undefined motivation is forever continuing...

Tuesday, February 19, 2013


Fairly Clown


Fadi W. Kawar


Glory is undeserved when it speaks no reason. You can spit your lies and swallow the truth when you should blatantly face your reason and conquer your own insecurities. Hiding behind the defaults of another makes you stronger when you have no other path to follow.
A sad truth that is observant to every minimal dynamic of your own life. Defeat the master of your own self and disperse the beautiful person you may reclusively be…

To Each His Own

The recent origin of spirituality claims to take oneself and transcend on your own ethics of wellbeing and mentality. How much we mean to ourselves and how much we care of what we mean to others. Becoming connected to your own mind and the importance of thought is overwhelming.
To be taken over by emotion, loose control of thought and mind for what matters more than the feeling of this instance. A wave of over extorted sadness or grief that develops and takes over every moment and every benign piece of thought.
Life, thought, spirit, mind, belief, takes over humanity to the extent where it goes beyond religion. You get lost on your own. Nothing can call you into yourself like your own being. Your demeanor holds control of your character. Nothing should get into your head and build a wall to keep the world out. Mind over thought and thought over mind. Reality goes beyond an image that displays the misrepresentation of honesty.
Invincibility versus failure equals the difference between a victorious energy and death. Before you know it your falling down and nothing without motivation will get you up.  Before you go make a statement and give meaning to it all.
Shine bright and learn to love being lost in yourself it’s the most comfortable place to be. Understand your mind and understand yourself even if your path is totally lost you know how to pick up and mend the rocks.
Bring your pain to a new light and find a way to make it a lesson. Nothing has loved you as much as lost thoughts. For lost thoughts as much as they are mislaid they will never be forgotten. Love the moment and don’t misdirect your energy. Move your fears into positivity for you will never dream as much as the dream your living.

Rumor Has It

So it has been brought to my attention that rumors are spreading like an unstoppable plague in the mists of the unfortunate others who spend their days engulfing each and every word. It saddens me that peoples lives may be so petty that they live in the stories that they make up of other individuals just to entertain their own minds. Rumors are loud whispers of lies that feed on misinterpreted truths. They may be recycled and most probably project the actual truth of the person projecting them like fire in the wind. For a plausible rumor may be a lot easier to believe than the truth itself.

Not knowing the full extent of the damage you may cause it pleases me to say I am a rock that words could never crack or crumble. I AM the ruler of my own decisions and at least I may praise the people who raised me into a strong independent woman that would never be phased by such menial acts. So I bow down to my parents for the fantastic job they have done and to all my Jordanian friends as I am sure they know exactly where I am coming from. For the only persons whose opinions really matter are those of the ones closest to us and those who would not judge us if your lies were the actual reality. For judgment is a verdict and of a verdict you cannot escape.

Not a tear has been shed and I humbly take you off your pedestal of undeserved glory. For one thing we have all learned as young children is karma WILL come back and bite you in the ass, and when it does you will remember exactly as to why. So I thank you for giving me the inspiration to write again and I hope you share this with the rest of the rumor advocates so that  rumors may be put to rest. This is your undeniable truth. In the end I can only thank you for the only worse thing than being talked about is not being talked about at all. Amen to that!


In a state of mind where passion and despair collide, she breathes her last breath. Beauty does not bring her glory, beauty brings and undefined curse. The over exaggerated attention that was brought on her was her sacrifice. A dangerous lust that infected all her surroundings.

Forever painting the picture that was depicted in peoples imaginations, her being, lived in a  surreal complexion of perfection. To be seen as a mirror of a physical appearance but never to be seen as who or what she in reality was for she was real.

A selfish longing of the materialism of a person will break them. Destruction of the soul does not bring an escape way. Unfix-able breakage that no power in the world may heal. She breathed her last breath for she was imperfectus perfectus, perfectly imperfect. 


A child was singing in the yard.
The beauty of an innocent life was embraced by joy.
As ordinary days would pass like the simplicity of the morning sunrise.
Not a thought in its world was infected by the evils of an unspoken truth.
A life immersed in games of hide and seek and capturing butterflies in all their colorful glory.

A child was singing in the yard.
As days lost some of their brightness, a somber melancholy filled the air, like waking up after an afternoon dream full of confusion and a contorted mind.
A state where imagination turns to a distorted reality of conflict between the powerful and the hopeful.

A child was singing in the yard, as screams were the only echoes of the morning due.
Cries of agony replaced the sounds of glorious hummingbirds and sirens of crickets were overtaken by the sirens of war.
Loss, destruction, and desperation carried through the air like a deadly plague.
A child sang in the yard.


No truth lies in our thoughts when we go through our days living in twines of unbroken uncertainty. Following the deceptions of fanatic goals that society has laid in our laps restricting of course to social wellbeing and class. Born in the democratic demure of ‘1st world ‘countries automatically brings with it a definitive sense of privilege and stature.
Most of us forget that if a tiny particle of fate, fate the forecast of our beings, was switched we may not be so lucky. Luck is what defines if we have a consistent flow of our basic nourishment or if we have the ‘privilege’ of literacy. What we may take for granted is a misunderstanding to others who do not share our world, for our world is only a tiny percentage of human existence.
The privileged should in no way be oblivious to their fortune, by no means, but it should be embraced. Fortune should be taken as serendipity. It is a disgrace to see nations who have the means to lavishly occupy their nations ‘culture’ in branding and social media but to be silent onlookers in the cruelty that befalls and prevails the Middle East or Africa.
The millions of people dying of the fight for something so real that we may never understand the strength of belief in a cause so much grander than any battle we have ever had to face in our own simplicity. Streams of blood forever tattoo our futures history book to remind us that we did nothing to intervene.
An infant that loses its parents to the evils of a bullet will forever run on the track of that memory. It’s a never-ending jog in the destruction of a life that had so much potential. A mother that faces raising a mine crippled child will still carry the hope of a magnificent life but not without carrying a scar in her beliefs. A wife that mourns her husband will mourn the absence of her soulmate in all her sustenance.

The procrastination of intervention is taking a tremendous toll and will leave its marks for the generations following whatever path an outcome lays out for them. Is the unending scream of despair and the deepest loss of distressed lives and desperation for a better life not enough for our so unmistaken ‘Western society’ not enough? To judge is the easiest excuse for ignorance. What we do not see is that there is a dark beauty in the strength of a belief that buries itself so hard it brands the skin of your thoughts and decisions. For at least there is a belief in something and a motivation to fight for something you believe in and to withstand the tyrannical rulings of our leaders. Leaders who should be mentors not leaders who carry with them the deaths of thousands on their conscience. Countries so powerful they are considered world leaders? Leaders who believe their regime will lead to immortality. The greatest regime is the regime of the people, for without the people there would be no cause and without a cause there would be no belief. Belief is reality and reality is the truth.

Saying Goodbye

To say goodbye will never be easy. The sorrow we feel seems like a never ending burrow that keeps digging deeper into our souls. The feeling of having lost someone so great leaves a gaping hole in all our hearts. The tears we cry could fill oceans of sorrow and sadness. This is how we are all feeling during this heartrending time.

Its come to a day where we wonder about death and the loss of our family and friends. An unexplainable prevalence that can never be explained and that will never seem fair. It is the most misunderstood concept of life in all its glory and sadness. We all feel that we would do anything to bring you back but sometimes to be strong means to be able to let go.

We are sorry to see you gone but are celebrating that you ever lived. I applaud you and commend you for who you were and for letting us be part of your lives. Lives that were so full of care and love that you had enough to share with us all. Seeing the path you took and allowing us to walk where you have walked, into, under, above, and through, taking each step in a magnificent stride.

It is hard to find comfort in our days when our thoughts are overtaken by grief. We are sorry to see you leaving, leaving us behind. Life did not do you justice so you left us for something better. However we find comfort in thinking of what great people you were. Memories that will leave and afterglow of smiles on the faces they pass. Memories that will echo a trail of soft whispers in our hearts.

Watching you go is like watching a shooting star for a shooting star is the one that stands out the most, the one that flies the fastest but the one that shined the brightest. 


I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved in and a place where you have shined the most memories and where all your days are buried deep. Leave it by sneaking out the backdoor and not the grand exit. Don’t turn back but reflect and never believe that a memory is better than the minute your standing in at this precise moment because it doesn’t compare. Passed years are safe, whilst the future is an unknown never-ending cave with a light switch that may turn on and upon turning on this switch you will discover the sense of it all.

Well, here at last, dear friends, on the shores of the Sea comes the end of a long peaceful wave. A wave where I have made some of the most learning and growing and none of this could have been accomplished without the confidence of certain crowns. My friends, my family who have supported me through every tidal of this perplexing passageway, where times have been immense and others have been filled with clouds of heartbreak and pain which we have shared and marched through with our heads held high as we do not weep as not all tears are an evil. We have traveled through energy and peace even with terrible mistakes and magnificent triumphs and realizations. But every fleeting instant was an implication to something bigger and better. To have been allowed to walk into, under, over, through, and above all failures and battles has brought me here.

Now it is my time to go and it feels strange to leave the people you love but also to leave the person you are now, because you will never be this person again. My dear friends I applaud you for being who you have been and the crown now goes to you as each and everyone of you I take a piece of with me. I know nothing stays as it is and every wave is different and knowing this I can start my new mystic journey to another shore. To leave after all is not the same as to be left and to be left is not to forget. For forget I shall not and remember I will always.